Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dick very happy bro
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
