alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
