I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
