I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
