just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
