Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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