remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
