Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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