lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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