I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
