singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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