We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
