I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
