I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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