it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
