How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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