Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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