I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
