It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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