i just had sex bonerless
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i think my cat just said my name.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
