can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize