She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
