I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
