if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
