he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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