a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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