So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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