Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
