i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
