Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
