I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
