i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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