Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
