So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I look better un-naked...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Someone signed my nipple.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
