What did we do last night that was yellow?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
