Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Please don't give away my fajitas
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