Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
