Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
