dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
