Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
