But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
