paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
