You're my little dorito
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Mom said you looked used
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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