Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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