I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
