i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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