For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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