it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
