I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
