A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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